So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
