hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
