for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i out mim tonsoeep
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