Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize