I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
