i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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