if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
