I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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