i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
