Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
