did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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