it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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