Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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