i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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