HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
