what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
