I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
