Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
zippers are such a cool invention
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
