i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
