oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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