kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
