I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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