So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
