If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When are your genitals available?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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