Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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