Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
