Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
did i walk over a car last night?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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