I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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