as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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