3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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