This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need water and some morals
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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