We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
