Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
