a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
