I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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