The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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