Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
