And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
