Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
