all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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