Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
