He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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