I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
