You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
