Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
