I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
