Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's never too late to be topless.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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