he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
