i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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