My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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