I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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