a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
