'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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