it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
