There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
