Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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