This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
