i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
