I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
